The beautiful Beginning was just about to turn bitter..
After a year of knowing each other our relationship was about to be torn apart. I had made a huge mistake. Digant could never forgive me. He refused to talk to me refused to see me. The thought of me repulsed him. I had never thought this man could ever hate me with so much passion. His hate and rejection opened a huge wound inside of me. I tried everything to save our relationship but to no avail.
I was swallowed whole by depression. I made through the days somehow and cried myself to sleep every night. The absence of his immense love left a huge void which could not be filled ever again. I remember still the time when something triggered his memory and I could feel a weight pressing down on my chest unable to breath almost choking me. I desperately tried to keep busy to avoid thinking of him, avoid remembering him. But foolish as I was, I never lost hope to get it all back to normal again.
All this time, we still stayed in touch though, never cutoff completely but were not speaking as often as we had when all was good. Initial few months after the breakup were very tough for me. I never thought I could ever be normal and cheerful again. But I found immense support in my Mom and Maya. With them to catch me if I fell, I started getting back to my normal life. I made myself participate in college festivals, concentrated all my energy in college placements. Got placed into Infosys. That was a huge achievement for me. The placement enthusiasm kept me happy for a few days but it started to wane again and my depression began creeping in slowly.
I still had my final semester of college left. I tried putting all my energies for our final project and studies but was never 100% in it. Some part of me was still mourning his loss. After the semester was over I had a 6 months long gap before I was to join Infosys. I dreaded this period. I had to figure out ways to occupy all my time during these days. I started reading books non-stop throughout the day. Binge-watched Vampire Diaries and Game of Thrones and any other series I could lay my hands on. Played Plants vs Zombies late into the night. Spent time with Maya and my Mom. Around this time I also stumbled into the world of blogging. Found many like minded souls. Read many blogs and also blogged about my feelings and found support from the community of bloggers.
Somewhere during this time Digant started talking to me again, the conversations lasted longer than just the monosyllables which we were exchanging until now. One day out of nowhere he brought back all the earlier problems again. He hated me even now. My wound was cut deeper. I was hoping it would all have been settled by now for him. But apparently it had not yet. Suddenly I wanted to leave for Infosys as soon as possible. I started looking at it as my only way to escape this grief. I wanted to get away from this place that reminded me of him. I started counting my days to Infosys Mysore.
World Of Thoughts 